"It's hard to dance with the devil on your back"

Now that I am a statistic, the question is not can I cover this story of my own lay-off as an unbiased journalist (no), but can I confront it without falling apart? At least the interview should be a cakewalk. Grab a mike and stand in front of a mirror. Should I go with first person, 3rd person, or as a theater of the absurd, which it all kind of has become?

A journalist covering unemployment goes to the Career Center to get the scoop. The laid-off one goes there to scoop up a few bucks. First you have to register and that requires a photo i.d, like a drivers license.

"Oops. It's in my other pants."  Yes, I actually have two pairs.

The journalist turned interviewee, now re-panted, licensed and registered was asked for a copy of the resume. Finally an easy question. (Hint, at 2:30 p.m. the lines are shorter than the ones seen on CNN)

"That's a resume?" The unemployment counselor stared wide-eyed at the paper being presented to her. "That's a resume?" She had never seen one that was one page of text surrounded by three pages of photos laid out like a magazine.

"Yes, mam," that's what I do. Photographs, writing and design. And a bit of video production. Some coaching and cat-herding. So I present it visually." The silence in the Career Center was awkward. "If I were a carpenter, I'd bring in a house."

That broke the spell.

"May I keep it (the resume, not the house)?"

The answer was affirmative, and a most pleasant and helpful interview finished up. Only it was not the journalist doing the interviewing.

Unemployment insurance is a euphemism for a sum of money that allows one to ease into bankruptcy, rather than fall in head first when one's day job is sucked into the recessional tsunami. It typically almost pays for the increased health insurance costs faced by laid-off workers. Of course then there's no money for food so you get sick. Good planning! You have health insurance.

The state pays out the unemployment payments, so they require you to qualify once a week, to be sure the out-of-work worker is working for his or her out-of-work wages. Makes sense. But qualification day is Sunday. Isn't there a Blue Law about that?

~to be continued~